Soft kitty, warm kitty,
little ball of fur
Happy kitty, sleepy kitty
purr purr purr
We had quite a shock over the last week. Our cat Emily had had a sinus virus, and we brought her in for an antibiotic. Our vet opened her mouth and saw that her entire upper left jaw was infected, and that the teeth were loose. He gave her three days of heavy antibiotic injection, and we brought her on Saturday for a surgery.
It turned out that she had a tumor in her sinus that had already dissolved much of the maxilla. She could have come home with us — Bruce estimated that we’d have about a week — but she wouldn’t have been able to eat, her gums wouldn’t have healed, and she’d likely have been miserable. So we went in on Saturday evening for that most unfortunate act of love, deciding that the end has come.
Bruce brought her in; she was alert and comfortable. And as we petted her and talked to her, she rolled onto her side to get a belly pet, and went into her reliable, loud, fully absorbed purring. She knew that she was loved, and that we protected her. And that’s all we can ask of anyone.
I think that purring is an underrated aspiration for the artist. Comfortable people can afford to be made uncomfortable by their art; intellectual disturbance is a luxury that sits way up at the top of the pyramid of needs. The entire history of architecture since Corbusier has been all head and no heart, practiced and studied by people for whom rigor is the utmost human value. (Don’t get me wrong—there’s plenty of good and humane architecture. We just don’t teach it or praise it.)
I write because I need occasionally to purr. Because I need to tell myself a story in which, no matter how much bullshit we have to navigate, no matter how many stupid or malicious people we encounter along the way, it’s gonna be okay. It’s all gonna be okay. And then I give it to friends, and I hope they’ll purr as well.
This is my message to young writers (and to married people, and to parents…). Evoking comfort is not a goal that will win you a seat in an MFA program, or publication in the (deservedly) little magazines. But it’s a worthy goal nonetheless.
If you value purring, work to make it happen. Those who trust you will know it’s all gonna be okay.
